• Today, I was marked absent from my math class because nobody in my class noticed I was there.

• Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend.

• Today, I made a joke about having a wedding to my mom and she told me not to joke about something that will probably never happen

• Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks."

• Today, I went to my boyfriend’s work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, “Just this fat chick I know”

http://www.fmylife.com/